Merry Kerry 2013-2014 by Andrew Jeffers

Merry Kerry everyone! And where do I Start??

As a fresher I had hear much about the awesome, crazy and liver dysfunction inducing trip to Kerry over New Year’s. Naturally I was eager to sign up and get with the banter.

There wasn’t much to mention about the first night, most people hadn’t arrived. However this didn’t stop Zog showing off his new ‘chriskini’. He found much to his discomfort that it chaffed much more than his Borat mankini (see the freshers’ trip 2014). Also Zog had just acquired his new boat and was busy fitting it out in the middle of the sitting room in one of the houses. That was until Marie decided she could fit INSIDE Zog’s boat. Yes ,inside, you read correctly!

Marie in a Boat

Marie in a Boat

On the first day of paddling the more experienced paddlers went off leaving us freshers and a few others to find something to do. We chose to take a trip to Torc waterfall. For me this brought back a few childhood memories and I’m glad to announce that the waterfall is still very impressive looking. But before we even reached the car parks there was a tree fallen across the road. W navigated this and continued walking down to the waterfall, which was a long way down. The compulsory group photo was taken and we began our ascent back to the top. Now this was exercise! At the top the following conversation took place:

Aoife: “I’m going back to the car, my leg is getting sore again.”

Ciaran: “Take my phone in case you need us.”(Aoife’s was dead)

*hands phone over*

Davidas: “Does someone have Ciaran’s number?”

Someone else: “I’m sure Ciaran knows his own number.”

*laughter all round*



The ‘freshers’ trip took place on the Lower Carragh the next day. We were joined by some Scots which made a nice addition to the group. Our ‘warmup’ involved the usual banter of ‘four corners on the box’ and the ‘penguin run’ along with an impromptu dance lesson form Nicola. The run down the river was great, it was my first taste of dropping in and out of eddies, and Finch made sure I was kept busy at this. Apparently others were less familiar with eddies and had trouble keeping head above water. That being said most thoroughly enjoyed the trip, this being the first fiver run for a few of us freshers.

We returned the next day to run the same section of river again to discover that the field we launched in the last day was now under several inches of water.Most of the water in the picture was grass the previous day! Some lv3 guys ran it but us young ones were forced to retreat back to the houses for some games and banter.

Hugh on the Lower Caragh

Hugh on the Lower Caragh

I’ve no idea where a turnip came from but however it did Donagh rapidly developed a drunken emotional attachment to it, naming it Terrance! He even went as far as drawing a face on it. Oh and to add to your confusion, the same night he ate a substantial portion of Terrance . . Well so much for that.

Terence the Turnip

Terence the Turnip

What next .  . AH! The Table Quiz! This is an annual quiz run by UCD in the Ross Inn. Everyone organised their teams and the quiz began. Once someone remembered not to shout out the answers, great  banter was had. Including some exceptional answers! What is the scientific name for a millionth of a second, Donagh : “an orgasim!”. Shortly after this was the sexual position round . . . I have no words to describe the scene of that round, (this picture might help!). This was swiftly followed by the clothes swap round, male with female.

It seemed like it took too long but New Years’ Eve finally rolled about. I was given the opportunity to join some more experienced paddlers on the Upper Carragh. I jumped at this opportunity (literally, I had 10 minutes to get some form of breakfast and get my gear together!).  Somehow the previous nights’ alcohol brushed away and I make the convoy to the Upper Carragh, notably Dirmuids Kayak fell off the roof of the car on the way, no damage thankfully. The run went really well except bizarrely I broke my hand getting into my kayak, still no idea how I managed this. Unfazed , and unaware of the true damage to my hand I decided to paddle on, t’was but a scratch some might say. The run down the river was really good, Gallagher’s, Blackstone’s and a few other tasty features were great to experience.  So Upper Carragh 0 – Fresher  1

Back at the house New Years Celebrations were getting underway. The game of the week was played yet again, Cards Against Humanity. Not Stirctly a drinking game such as Kings. Regardless drinks were had and had again before the trip to the ‘local’ pub. Evan and I walked the 30 or so minutes to the pub, as we did every night, to find festivities well underway.  What next but join in the banter and high jinks. One story that came out of the night that is still mentioned a few months later is that of mixing drinks with hilarious results. I believe the order was shots of Baileys followed by shots of Champagne in the same glasses. This unfortunately, for Ross, caused a large degree of coagulation to occur leaving Ross confused as to why the consistency was funny. He was later convinced that coagulation was spelt with a ‘j’ and proceeded to spell it wrong and without a ‘j’.

The trek back from the pub was a challenge in itself. A small group of us had decided that going to the nearby playground would be a great idea. Only to find when we left that the road was being flooded. So a bit of a hop a skip and a  . . . splash and we were back at the main road. But this too had flooded and was continuing to flood. So spying a wall, I hopped up on top of it and walked beside the road but above the flooding, genius!  Most notably so because others followed my lead and others . . . well I can’t speak for them, but lest say no one came away with dry knees at best.

The penultimate day in Kerry was a quite one, retelling stories of the previous night, examining the remains of Terrance’s cousin all over the kitchen counter. That evening someone decided to hold a drinking game over the movie Sharknado. Many stayed off the drink but participated in the banter. Now for anyone who doesn’t know Sharknado is a really cheaply make movie based on the story that a sea tornado (hurricane) picks up a load of sharks and dumps them all over a major city, which is somehow severely flooded. It also has CGI so painful to watch your eyes may actually bleed. Anyhow, the basic rules were if someone fought a shark, you drank. If a shark killed someone, you drank. However given the HUNDREDS of storyline flaws in this movie a new rule was added which was, if you question the (twisted) logic of the film, you drank. This happened far too often. However it was certainly the most enjoyable way to watch Sharknado.

The next morning a mass clean-up of the house was made (a necessary evil), and the trip home was a small extension to the banter of the week, trawling though Evans phone for music to keep us and him awake. The final act of the Kerry trip before getting home for me was a small trip to St. Vincents hospital to confirm that I had indeed fractured a bone in my hand, the true sing of a good Kerry!

See you all at the next Merry Kerry,

Andy Jeffers – Fresher

All photographs are courtesy of Naddy Jones.

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2 Responses to Merry Kerry 2013-2014 by Andrew Jeffers

  1. Andrew Jeffers says:

    Of course I forgot the photo for the Quiz!

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